FUN RUN


All right, all right! I admit: I have survived two weeks of exercise, and I still have not killed anyone! I ask you to keep that in mind when I go on to tell you just how much I hate exercise. If you just arrived here and don’t understand why I have started exercising when I hate it so much, then please read this post (I haven’t killed anyone!), which explains the need to put myself through such ordeals I am about to describe.

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Sir Nerdalot and I have started a program (that came highly recommended by one of the Nerds coworkers) to get in shape in 7 weeks. Which is kind of weird, as I am already in shape! Round is a shape! This program gives us specific tasks for 7 weeks, and this is supposed to get us into some sort of shape. I am hoping that my midsection ends up more concave than convex at the end of this ordeal. And ordeal it is; my muscles ache, my forehead and whole body is dripping with sweat, and I am wheezing and gasping for air, and it basically feels like my body is about to shut down! Still, I push through, and I just know I am going to end up with terrible muscular cramps in my legs and probably painful injuries – just like the last time I decided to start exercising.

15977979_10154567391256622_1262020767917715231_nYou see, health gurus all over the world claim that exercise is good for ya, and if you refrain from this then you will for sure die a slow and painful death. But exercise is like living a slow and painful life, and I can’t understand how that can be better??? My whole body is signaling that this trotting around the pond must stop, and aren’t we supposed to listen to our bodies? And it’s not just then, yanno, when I am exercising, my body objects. Oh no! It is objecting for days after! I’m sure I can’t possibly feel worse, not even after running a friggin marathon! My thighs hurt. My arms hurt. My butt hurts. My belly hurts. The only part of my body that is not in pain is my hair! Because hair is already dead!

Okay, I chose to start up with this, I could have chosen an exercise that was lower impact and less subjected to the natural elements. But to my defense – I didn’t. Thing is, I like being outdoors, and I like activities in which I can include my dog. For instance – I love hiking and going on walks. I enjoy packing my backpack with picnic food and a thermos of coffee and hang the cam around my neck and go for a walk and take in the scenery while the dog is trotting back and forth sniffing tree trunks and big rocks and is having a grand time. But this is not exercise – I don’t even break a sweat when I do that, as I stop and take pictures, I take coffee breaks, I find somewhere to sit and just take in the nature, just to see, to feel, to be. And the crappy weather? Pfth! I’m Norwegian and I wholeheartedly believe that there is no bad weather, only bad clothing!20150319_125332_005-001

Do I really have anything to complain about? After all, I was the one who chose to quit smoking, and I knew damn well that I would gain weight. I am also the one that chose to start exercising, and I chose in what way I exercise. I am also the one choosing to stick with it, so do I really have anything to complain about? Hell yeah, I do! You see, the genius that made the program I am following, have attempted to come off as positive and motivational, and I would normally appreciate that. In this case, however, it’s painfully stupid:

How can anyone call a 30-minute jog for a “FUNRUN” Serious!!! It is no fun to feel your whole body shutting down, everything hurts, and the wet snow whipping your face feels somewhat acceptable because it cools your overheated face!

Or how about calling the intervals of high intensity runs a “HEALH BOOSTER”? I’m no MD, but I am certain that repeatedly feeling like you are about to die is not the type of health you would want to boost.

Then you have this beautiful little term, the “ENERGY BOOSTER”.  This exercise should be renamed to ENERGY BUSTER, as I do not, at any point before, during or after the exercise, feel like I have boosted my energy. Nope, I feel completely drained of energy. Come on, this is not magic, perpetual motion has always been, and will always be, impossible!

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Despite feeling like I am about to die 3 times a week, and an everlasting pain and soreness in every single muscle and fiber of my body, I will carry on, no matter the weather. After this 7 weeks-program, I will continue for the next 7 weeks. And I hope that by that time, I have started to enjoy it, and might even start to call a 30 minute jog a “FUNRUN”. And if I do, you can bet your sweet little tush that I will be sadistic enough to recommend to my less fit friends that they go for a FUNRUN!

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27 comments on “FUN RUN

    • LOL isnt that what I am doing with the funrun, health booster and energy booster? Well, minus the sniffing…

      Yes, Mister Smiley there is in way better shape than we will ever be 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hey! you should do some ‘stretching’ and warm up before starting your exercise everyday. It helps. Don’t go harsh on yourself. Every big journey starts with small steps.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was going away with just a like button but I have to comment for your post really resonated with me. You nailed the fitness program ordeal which shouldn’t be an ordeal but it is one . Lucky you … 7 weeks and you’ll be galloping like a thoroughbred without breaking into sweat … all the best!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Akk, post got away! I don’t run, But I did commit to going to the gym 3 times a week in November and I’ve been doing it. 20-25 minutes of cardio on a machine called an ARC Trained that’s supposed to burn your butt and everything else, then weight machines for the various body parts I do not like as they are. No idea if it’s making any difference so far, and I do ache the next day, but there is satisfaction in overcoming the strong desire not to do it and doing it anyway. Hang in There!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nah, just stay clear of the edges of the techtonic plates and there will be no earthquake! Seriously, swimming might be a better choise if yiu have a bad back, less impact but great workout!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I was swimming before all this started back in October. It’s hard to get motivated to get back in the pool when it’s so cold, camp, and grey outside. I’ll be doing a moderate amount of walking as I continue to have healing at the incision site. Already seeing a lot of improvement this week.

        And I promise to stay away from the edges of the tectonic plates 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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  5. I am glad you quit smoking. I did many years ago, and gained weight which I lost all of a couple years later. Now I am also working out, to lose all that lost weight which somehow found me, though I did move twice cross-country and did not leave the weight my forwarding address. I shall think of you, dear Olive, when I am huffing and puffing on the elliptical trainer later today! As ever, thanks for making me laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Okey, first rule of moving: make extra sure that the closets are not warm and humid as that will make your cloths shrink. :-p

      Seriously, I am also happy I quit smoking, am soon 3 months in. But the weight gain I could do without fer sure…

      Wishing you a wonderful time on the eliptical trainer. I know it won’t BE wonderful, but I wish it for you anyways. Maybe yo can find some comfort in knowing that you are not the only one who suffers.

      Hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. OMG – your post made me laugh so hard I snorted!!! 😂 I run for fun. I actually love running. I am currently starting back at about the second step because my lazy self didn’t run much this year. However, I run to keep my sanity and it has definitely been making a break for it of recent. So I am right there with you on the “what the hell muscle is that?” One thing that really helps me is yoga. Google yoga for runners and I swear to you it will get better. Also, don’t worry about doing all the yoga poses perfectly the first time. Give running a good long chance. All of the sudden you realize you are no longer running in one of the 7 circles of hell and you will feel so proud of yourself! And way to go on the smoking!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have tried a little bit of yoga, and dayum that is hard! It will be something I will definately look into, and that there are exercises spesifically aimed at runners is most intriguing. I do hope I can call my self a runner sometime in the future, but at present time i do not dare utter such a word in selfdescriptive ways… Right now its more like a huffin and puffin redfaced elephant moving just a little bit faster than normal. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I do not consider myself the most elegant of yoga people but every little stretch helps. And if you are out there huffin and puffin and that is a lot more than most of the people in the country are doing 😂 I figure I don’t much care if it’s a 15 minute mile or a 7 minute mile. If you are working it and you would be doing it to chase after your dog (hypothetical) – you are running. Own it!!! Good for you runner!! Keep it up.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for the support! Yes I will kep it up, because the way I see it; as of right now I have whining rights. Hopefully I will have bragging rights in the future, but for now i am ever so happy with the whining rights 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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