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Brexit Tea


Welcome to yet another #WeekendCoffeeShare! Today I am welcoming you to Brexit Tea (Formally known as High Tea) – and I stray from the purely joke-part of my weekly Saturday feature. I might be able to sneak in a joke though.

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If we were having Brexit Tea, you might have noticed that some of you only got hot water. Those of you who got only hot water have one thing in common: you are Britons. I would like to welcome all you Britons to a tasting of next month’s flavor (or prophecy, if you prefer) – Hot Water! By voting for the Brexit, you cancelled out each and every commercial agreement you have! No more imports for you!
I know you Britons enjoy your coffee, and you also enjoy your tea. Your High Tea will now be reduced to High Hot Water, as both coffee and tea are imports. And no. You cannot sweeten the deal with a spoonful of sugar. Nor lemon. Nope. All imports. You can have milk in your hot water though. You are welcome!
Sure, you can sit there and suck on your red currants and rhubarb, that’s absolutely fine. But don’t you think they leave a sour taste in your mouth now that you have no sugar to sweeten them with?
FB_IMG_1439578712151If we were having Brexit Tea, I would remind you of the post I wrote yesterday: Britain, what did you just do?  where I admit to have been taken completely by surprise by the Brexit vote. I also question whether the EU will meet you in your attempt to being elegant in your Brexit-endeavor. Turns out – I was correct to question just that. The EU has basically put the UK in the waiting room until you make a speedy decision. You are not welcome in the decisionmaking process within the EU until you make up your mind. You are actually already out! You are too chaotic, and too unstable to be trusted with a EU vote at the moment. None of this waiting til October-bullshit. You have to decide whether or not to invoke article 50 damn fast! And by doing so – you have two years to figure out some way to deal with the EU – all from the waiting room, and when those two years are up, whether you have come to an agreement you can live with or not – you are OUT for real! Not just out in the hallway – or in the waitingroom. Out! Out in the cold. Alone. And this is what you wanted? Really?
Am I exaggerating? Possibly. Of course UK can negotiate new commercial agreements. Sure. But this takes time – and one very important little detail you have forgotten: YOU HAVE JUST MADE YOURSELF A LESS DESIRABLE BUSINESSPARTNER! Because you have just proven yourself to be selfish, not a team player, chaotic, irrational and not trustworthy. Why would I risk my investments to such an unstable country? Sure I’ll sell you my tea and sugar – but it’s fucking gonna cost you! And your pounds aren’t worth much these days, so the prices will be astronomical for the regular consumer purcasing tea and lemon in the supermarket. This is what you voted for! On the up side: you don’t have to worry about Lithuanians, Latvians and Hungarians coming to take the jobs you don’t want in the first place. Good on ‘ya!
FB_IMG_1436123568334If we were having Brexit Tea, we would note that Europhobes, Islamaphobes and Racists are asking for referendums in France and Belgium. Well, they seem to be as short-sighted as the Britons. Hopefully they have Government leaders with just a tad higher IQ scores then the Europhobes, Islamaphobes and Racists. Europhobia, Islamaphobia and Racism are populist topics. It is the favor of the month. That’s it. To cast your vote out of populist propaganda and fear – is not smart. It’s actually really, really stupid.

 

The rest of EU getting in on the flavor of the month, with absolutely no consideration of the next month’s somewhat bland flavor – hot water – is not a pretty sight. I am very confident when I say that there will be no:

  • 1-13549217_1847166298837241_968068870_oGrexit
  • Departugal
  • Italeave
  • Ditchland
  • Donemark
  • Rungary
  • Czechout
  • Byegaria
  • Outstria
  • Finnish
  • Byegium
  • Sweyoulater
  • Etc

But then again: I was wrong about the Brexit!

 

12049160_10153519238741622_363953617073661685_nIf the free movement of people is the problem, then it is better to work INSIDE the system to change the EU, rather than throwing all the toys out of the sandbox and throw a tantrum. Cuz that is what the UK is doing – it is throwing a temper tantrum. And they are shooting themselves in the foot!
If we were having Brexit Tea, I would ask the Britons if you have any idea of the work you have ahead? You have 43 years of laws that you have to look into, make adjustments to, change as a whole or leave as is. Do you comprehend the man-hours and costs this will tally up to? I dare say, Old Chap – you have no idea what you just did by casting your vote the way that you did. By throwing a temper tantrum.

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Actually, it is the old geezers in England and Wales who are throwing this tantrum. They were the ones who voted to leave. They are throwing their own kids and grandkids under the bus. Not a very likeable trait – and a polarizing one. Scotland and Northern Ireland voted to stay. What choice do they have?

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Northern Ireland could leave the UK, and possibly cozy up with Ireland. The problem there is that they cannot live together. Because in Northern Ireland they believe in God. This does not sit well with the Irish – because the Irish believe in God. Both are too friggin stupid to realize that they believe in the SAME GOD! Seriously, people! Grow. The. Fuck. Up!
Scotland just voted to stay in the UK, and then 63% of the votes on the Brexit were in favor of staying in the EU. Scotland now has good reason to reevaluate their decision to stay in the UK. Scotland is a country in a union in a union. Sure, Scotland can choose to leave one union and seek to keep UK’s place in the EU. I don’t know if that is going to work, but I would hope my plaid clad friends would succeed in that endeavor. Of course then there would have to be put in place some sort of border control between England and Scotland – as Scotland would be in the Union while England would be out. A fence! Of course this is doable, but costly. What would cause a bigger headache is the oil and gas. Scotland has the resources, but the offices are mainly in England. I think this was one of the reasons the Scots voted to stay in the UK – just the hassle of moving the headquarters back to Scotland. Of course, with the Brexit, it might now be worthwhile.
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England and Whales would then sit there – with their Brexit tea – and no oil. Now, that’s gonna suck big time! Now they are even less desirable as a commercial partner. And Gibraltar (whom voted to stay in the EU with a whopping 95.9%)? Absorbed by Spain I guess.

 

Britain – I will ask you again; what did you just do? Is this really what you want? ARE YOU FUCKING SURE? All this just to keep the southern and eastern Europeans out? You better fucking make up your mind pretty damn fast – because EU won’t wait!

 

Britain – you have made a fucking mess! You clean this shit up, and fast! You broke it – you fix it!

And Prime Minister David Cameron: Start doing what you are being paid the big bucks to do: LEAD THE FUCKING UK! Do not run and hide with the tail between your legs because your win on a populist vote backfired on you!

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If we were having Brexit Tea, I would mention Donald Trump. Just the mere mention of his name should have you in stitches! Because we all know that The Donald is a fucking JOKE!
Just when you think this asswipe (The Donald) can’t possibly get any stupider, he goes and does it again – setting an all-time low of stupid:

Tromp Brexit

As Lili Allen pointed out to him; Scotland voted IN. They voted STAY in the EU. They voted NO to Brexit. This joker does not understand that Scotland is a country in a union in a union. For the Scots to «take back their country», they have to leave both the UK and the EU. Now that they are pretty fucking clear about not wanting the Brexit (63% of the vote), they might want to look into if the Union with England and Wales are in their best interest – as briefly discussed earlier on in this post.

 

FB_IMG_1435131202247Also Trumpty-Dumpty (and I am fighting the urge to call him a clown – as that would be a great insult – to the clowns!) is actually saying something very unexpected here: He is talking about UK taking their country back – and that the Americans will take their country back. He is saying that a state leaving a union is a good thing! Did any of you catch that? That means breaking up the USA into individual, sovereign states! This is what he is actually saying! Who will be the first state to break free? California? Or Texas? Or how about the southern states breaking free and forming their own union? And then you have it going all over again, don’t you? History repeating! Good on ‘ya! Dumbass! The Donald is no longer running for Presidency of USA – he’s running for Presidency of the State of New York*! 

*New York because that is where he is from. If the USA no longer excists, and he wants to be President, then his home state would be the only state he could run for presidency in. (He already is President of the Great State of Confusion)

Seriously, Trump; Go read a fucking book! Start with children’s books and work your way up. You have a great deal of learning to do before you can run a country.

To my American friends who are considering wasting your votes on this amoeba: Do you really want this person to represent your country? To represent YOU? The rest of the world LAUGHS at the Donald. He’s a fucking JOKE! Do YOU want to be represented by a JOKE?


Care to join us at the #WeekendCoffeeShare ? Then go to  Parttime Monster Blog and join the link up!

Want to see my previous contributions to the #WeekendCoffeeShare? They are funny, I promise:

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Trouble is my middle name

We should not sleep away the summer night

Diet much?

Wolf Whistle much?

An eggy conundrum

Happy Mother’s Day!

#WeekendCoffeeShare

Nice to meet you

Coffee and taxes

read my blog

 

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84 comments on “Brexit Tea

  1. Oh beautifully written! I couldn’t have put it better and I’m British! We have screwed our country up. We let the older generation stamp their feet and vote for nostalgia, for times past that weren’t so good anyway, in protest. We fucked it up! There are many now saying they voted leave in protest as they didn’t think live would win. Stupid, stupid petulant people. I just hope someone worthwhile will take on the job to sort this mess out. Please don’t think we all wanted this, some of us wanted a future for our children and our children’s children. The 65+ baby boomers seem to be wanting to take selfishness to the grave. I apologise to the rest of the world for the mess my country has made. 😦

    Likt av 3 personer

    • Oh Sweetie, I think the whole world is aware that not all Britons are in favor of Brexit. Actually the leave side is only marginally larger then the stay side – and then you have the 14 million registered voters that didn’t vote! I might have gotten that number wrong, so please forgive me, as the point is that alot of people chose not to give their vote.

      I love England and Scotland, and although I have never been to Northern Ireland, Wales and Gibraltar – I am sure I love them too. I share your hope that someone will take action and sort it out.

      Likt av 1 person

      • Oh sorry, can’t seem to find another way to do it. It was just an argument for the leave voters, if I’d thought this was what they’d believed I could understand them voting that way. Far better for them to have legitimate reasons than what it feels at the moment. I’m not a sore loser, just feel this was far more important than many understood. I’ll be the first to say I was wrong if in a few years time it proves so.!

        Likt av 1 person

  2. Spot on. It’s a shame all those who voted to leave didn’t think it through. There were plenty of leave voters quoted yesterday saying things like «I wouldn’t have done it if I thought it would happen» and «what is the EU?» was one of the top questions here on Yahoo. Says it all really. Never underestimate the stupidity of the masses.

    Likt av 3 personer

    • It is rather scary that in a country like UK there are people so shortsighted that they will vote one way just because they don’t like Cameron or «because they didnt think it would happen» Education is key.

      I saw alot of misinformation and propaganda over here before the referendum, I am sure you guys were absolutely bombarded with it! And that is a problem.

      Likt av 3 personer

      • ‘Misinformation and propaganda’ is being kind to it! Better described as lies and racism, aimed at inducing fear. We’re a broken, divided country at present and will take a lot of mending.

        Likt av 2 personer

  3. Oh, dear, may I clear the record about New York?

    As a proud citizen of New York City, I can observe with a fair amount of certainty that Drumpf is running for President of the United States because he could not get himself elected mayor of New York City or governor of New York State. We know the stench all too well.

    Okay. Carry on! lol! xoM

    Likt av 1 person

    • I said New York only because that is where he is from. Seing that he clearly has not understood what the Brexit is about – it would be exactly the same as California leaving the United States of America. A state leaving a union. He thinks this is a good thing. I am happy to hear that New Yawkers have the good sence to NOT give him your vote!

      Likt av 1 person

    • Thank you! It is heartbreaking to read that many leave-voters just did it because they don’t like Cameron, and that they never thought the leave-side would win. They just voted that way to send a message to Cameron that they dont like him. Guess that kind of backfired.

      Lik

  4. Ha! Where to start? Texas has already decided after Brexit that they would like to secede; they’ve spoken of this for a long time.

    Brexit has made me question whether Trump could become a reality. I know of no one who supports him, but perhaps they hide their opinions in closets.

    Brexit has made me question a lot because if there had been a country that I thought fair and intelligent, Britain would have been at the top of the list.

    Thanks for providing a thought-provoking post–as usual! 🙂

    Likt av 1 person

    • Thank you so much! Im just shocked that the Donald actually is so stupid to talk about a state leaving a union as a good thing – while running for presidency of a union of states…

      The Brexit will still have to go through in both house of Lords and House of commons, but there are no winning side here. They are fucked if they do and they are fucked if they don’t.

      Best possible scenario would be for the UK to mosy in on the EEC – then that would place all the oil in EEC and they would still have to listen to us.

      Likt av 1 person

  5. This is brilliant. It’s sarcastic, smart-ass, and necessary. When I found out that the UK chose to leave yesterday, my jaw dropped. When I read that the most popular search term in the UK yesterday was «What is the EU?» (and this is AFTER the vote to leave became official) I would have laughed out loud had it not been so terrifying. If anything,

    As for Trump, I’m hoping that, come November, the American public shows they have more sense than the British public.

    It seems that the human beings in this world are becoming more and more intolerant, selfish, and closed-minded everyday.

    Likt av 2 personer

    • Thank you! Yes that is absolutely terrifying that the top google-search in UK was «what is EU»!

      Trumpty-Dumpty is getting the votes of the xenophobes and the uneducated who are blinded by his wealth.

      Lik

  6. Really great post, pretty much exactly what I think about this whole farce of a vote. As a Briton currently living outside of the U.K. it has been very difficult to watch all this from the outside. Another scary thing to think about is who will replace Cameron as PM? I don’t think people thought about this. As awful as Cameron is, he was as safe pair a hands as you can get for a conservative PM. Now what? Boris as Prime Minister? That would surely be the beginning of the end of the U.K. Shortsightedness really has ruined this country. The whole world is laughing at us.

    Likt av 1 person

    • Thank you so much!

      Cameron resigning is a really low blow to his successor – who will have lost either way. The successor will be remembered for the one invoking artickle 50 – OR the one who decided to overrule the people’s choise. Political Suicide, orchestrated by the same guy who started the whole thing. I am starting to think that Cameron is a genious. An EVIL genious – but still a genious.

      Lik

  7. I can promise you that hell would freeze over before I would even think about voting for Trump. He is a xenophobic narcissist with no intellectual curiosity and although I don’t say «shut up!» because of our 1st amendment… I really wish I could shut him up. 🙂 xo

    Likt av 1 person

    • Yea, the funny thing about free speach is that it does not give you the right to be heard. So what you must do is to stop listening to him and convince everyone else that they should not listen to his complete and utter bullshit.

      Lik

  8. I absolutely loved reading this. What you say has a greater impact because of your sharp wit and great sense of humour. Very thought-provoking. Love the allusion to tea! 😀

    Likt av 1 person

    • Thank you so much! Trying to talk some sence into them, and if it is one thing they understand it is tea ;.p

      Of course giving them a stern talking to after the fact is a tad pointless – but I just had to get it off my chest 🙂

      Likt av 1 person

    • hehehe, of course saying how I feel after the fact is rather pointless, but I am truly shocked at the shortsightedness and the fact that they have fucked up the economy of Europe. This does not only affect the Britons. It also affects non-EU countries who trade with UK through EU.

      Likt av 1 person

  9. First things first. No, I don’t want Trump representing me and, to be perfectly honest, I’m a bit scared that I may be in the minority among Americans. For the first time in my adult life, I am really, really concerned about where the U.S. is heading. We shall see come November.

    Second, thank you for sharing your insights into Brexit. I have read about Brexit and understand what happened on the surface, but I was still very curious to hear from a real life individual as to learn how Brexit will affect his/her everyday life. Thanks, also, for peppering it with some hilarious humor.

    Visiting from #weekendcoffeeshare
    Ericka from A Quiet Girl’s Musings…

    Likt av 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind comment!

      I absolutely share your concern about the USA, and I hope that the US voters have the good sence to not give Trump their vote.

      About Brexit – I might have been exaggerating a tiny bit to get the point through – but the first results of the Brexit has already appeared: the pound plumeting like a rock and financial and political uncertanty all over Europe.

      If Parliament decides to go with the Brexit or not – irreparable damage has already been made.

      Lik

  10. I read somewhere on the top of the comments «the best thing ive read all day» well yes same for me, could even go to say for awhile. Im not even british and i am sitting on the fence on if they should have or not. But however you have put your points forward in a way that i want to have a cup of tea without brexit. But the only point i will say about the oldies whining and the cause of this chaos, well why didnt the young take their attention from their iphone and go VOTE. Great idea bringing donald trump in, yes i was laughing all the way. Also on another note, thanks to your contribution yesterday on the subject of deprive «the islam hate video» , good one on the wedding ring.

    Likt av 1 person

    • Thank you so very much!

      The whole immigration-part of the Brexit I can not comprehend – as the UK is not even in the Schengen – and thus already have their own policies on immigration. Wether UK is in the EU or not – the secret word is still «Asylum» as it has been for years. Nothing will change, other than Europeans might have to obtain work permit in the UK.

      What they in reality said no to, was a prosperous economic development.

      Thank you right back for your great cmments and insights on yesterdays hate-speach vid. She didn’t let my last comment though. Funny how fundamentalists will just shut down at the first bump in the road – perhaps she ran out of arguments?

      Lik

      • Yes, true, somehow logical thinking escapes their bible filled brain. But her blog gave me an idea for my own thoughts about the same subject, also to work on the word deprive, i guess you can get inspiration for writing from anywhere.

        Likt av 1 person

      • I am so glad to see that I am not the only one who does that – look into blogs from people i fundamentaly disagree with – cuz I do find alot of insiration there. Looking forward to your post, is it out already?

        Lik

      • Yes it is called «be like a gum tree». I am on my tablet at the moment not on pc, not that tech savvy with tab to give you the link. Would appreciate your input, but compared to your blogs mine might seem a bit lame.

        Likt av 1 person

      • Ha! ha, I am glad. When you get a chance sift through my oldest post. I am trying to make it all look nice and pretty, but then again my tech skills let me down. My son offered to help during University holidays. Well My very post «The dreaded C word» is a story that I wrote – actually on someone else’s request. It’s my journey through a whole heap of things. One of them being cancer. Well, I have always questioned certain things. eg religion. But certainly possible mortality makes it question further. I have a feeling you might enjoy the read.

        Likt av 1 person

  11. Wow, that was quite the rant. Totally warranted. If I was heartless I’d make some popcorn, pull up a chair and watch but as an educated person I am a little uneasy about repercussions. Sometimes youth wants change for changes sake but boy howdy are the conservative oldsters really freaking out and jacking the rest of us out. My neighborhood has Trump signs. It’s all a bit scary.

    Likt av 1 person

    • From an international viewpoint, the Donald is the least favorable choice you can make. Monica’s ex-boyfriend’s wife is not a great choice either – but she will do your country a whole lot better than the Donald.

      Lik

    • Thank you!

      Some politicians are talking about wanting a Norway-style access to the EU market. Well, that would put all the oil in the EEC rather than in the EU – and that could abslutely be a good solution – for Norway and the UK.

      But wanting it is not the same as getting it – and pissing off the whole of Europe might not be the most elegant way to go about it. I have noticed that Merkel is refusing Camerons attempts at cosy-talk.

      Lik

    • Thank you so mych, Leya! I love John Oliver, and sometimes I don’t get the satire, and then I end up googling a bunch of stuff – and then I learn something. And THEN I usually get the satire ;-p

      Likt av 1 person

  12. I know someone who didn’t vote to satisfy a grudge against modern politics, but because a now dead Prime Minister promised that we were only joining the common market and not the EU in the 1950s. Honestly, this Brit is pretty damned embarrassed too.

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    • I am actually thinking that there should have been an upper age limit to the vote – as there is a lower age limit. The babyboomers are not the ones who have to live with the outcome of this vote – so why should they have a say in it.

      It would be harder to keep the stupid people of voting age out of the vote though…

      Lik

  13. Round of applause and I am British too. I wish I could plater that but it wouldn’t make a dfference to the die hards and the xenophobes who don’t or can’t read.

    I’d love for you to read my protest in shock of the whole travesty. https://writingasitcomes.wordpress.com/2016/06/24/black-thursday/

    We are in for bitter bloody trade wars and race wars ..already here, its as if a green light was given – the rampage began minutes after. Shouting in the faces of women and children(often three and fourth generation Brits, that they have 2hrs to get out etc and etc. People are not safe. No laws have been passed, and we are in a limbo and leaderless effectively 9as you pointed out) but no one ever accredited racists with smarts.

    Likt av 2 personer

    • The funny thing about the Brexit is that the immigration status will not change at all – «asylum» will still be the magic word! The only ones the Brexit is stopping is the Polish and the Hungarian who are necessary for the UK – they do the work you guys don’t want anyways!

      Headed over to read your post after getting another cup of coffe – my coffee consumption has greatly increased since the Brexit.

      I hope the UK gets a god deal with the EU, but the leave-general himself pissing off the EU is NOT helping. I think someone needs to realize that the UK needs EU more than the EU needs the UK…

      Likt av 1 person

  14. Yes, there always will be a conceited mentality, we are one of many not the One. I agree as things are unravelling here, they are being shot in the foot and face time and time again..and recently stabs in the back, it is hysterically tragic. As you eloquently say, nothing has been gained, but then they were told that too. And more shots to the foot with withdrawal of labour they won’t sully themselves with because benefits are too accessible, and a way of life now.

    Likt av 1 person

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  16. love this one. let texas leave, slice them off and let them float to sea. trump can be their president. new york doesn’t want him! so now the whole world knows that england is not as smart as we thought.

    Likt av 1 person

    • Hah! The Donald can probably not be president of a Texas as a solemn country as he is not from there. Im afraid you’d be stuck with the Dimwit in New Yawk should the USA dissolve.

      I think the Brexit surprised all of us…

      Lik

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