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Go to Hell!


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Cartoon from russelsteapot.com I have not checked that the numbers are correct, but it really can’t be too far off.

How fitting then that there is a place in Norway called Hell! Mind you, the name doesn’t mean «Hell» – it’s just written and pronounced like the English «hell». We do however have a couple places in Norway named Helvete – and they actually translate as «hell».

Hell map

Screenshot from Google Maps. Go ahead, put Hell, Norway in Maps and hit search!

But let’s concentrate on Hell (that does not mean «hell»), as it is the most civilized one. Should you decide to go to Hell, you can fly directly there, as Trondheim Lufthavn is only a couple minutes away, and should you want to spend any time in Hell, then you can comfortably spend your nights at Scandic Hell Hotel. As mentioned in the cartoon above, they do indeed speak Norwegian in Hell. They also have a good command of English in Hell, and if you are lucky you can find someone with a fair command of German, French or Spanish as well. In other words – do not let any language barrier stop you from going to Hell.

Welcome to Hell!

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Picture from Hell’s train station, cargo expedition. I will, for obvious reasons, not translate the sign.

 

Do not think for a minute, or a second even, that living in Hell will cast a shadow on your beauty! Here is a prime example of the beautiful women in Hell, Miss Universe 1990:

I think we can safely draw the conclution that The Story Behind a Door in Hell, is not necessarily an ugly one 🙂

You are not open minded enough!


Due to a 12-hour shift yesterday The Sundry Sunday Scoff is a day late. I do apologize.

Two months after my original posts in Norwegian, where I search for a healer to heal me from smoking, and two weeks after my translation/rewrite Calling all healers and Bullied by healer, no healer has contacted me and accepted my terms. Those I have contacted directly have blocked me without response, and some have just ignored my request. The very few that have communicated with me at all, does not accept my terms. They want to be prepaid – a term I am not accepting. How am I to know, while lying in Solitude on the sofa and “opening up to receive healing, universal energies” – that the healer actually does what he/she is paid to do? For all I know they can be playing angry birds, picking their nose and laugh all the way to the bank. Seems to me that the patient/customer is expected to put a whole lotta faith in the healer – while the healer takes no responsibilities, and will not put any faith in his/her patient/customer. They “do not believe in diagnoses», but still wants to psychoanalyse me? What’s up with that?

Healer – There is an underlying blockage that prevents you from living your life to its fullest potential in guidance and understanding with your soul and universal energy and love and light. I want to remove those blockings in you.

Old Mamasan – Eeerrr… Come again, please?

Healer – I want to find the cause of your smoking habit, tell me about your early childhood – did anything happen that traumatized you?

Old Mamasan – I did not smoke in my early childhood.

What the healer is doing here – is to search for something to blame, should he be confronted with failure. He would need more time (read: more money) to work on whatever is “blocking” you from fulfilling your “true potential” and blah blah blah. He is searching for something to throw right back in your face: It’s your own god damned fault that healing does not work on you, because you are not Open-Minded enough! I find that quite confusing really – as many healers (and this one in particular) claim on his own homepage that healing works – whether you believe in it or not. So what gives?

Another example, and a funny one at that, that they fish for something to blame when if they fail in healing you:

Healer: What is it worth for YOU to quit smoking?

Old Mamasan: NOK 25.000,-

Healer: No, I mean; what is it worth PERSONALLY for you to quit smoking?

Old Mamasan: NOK 25.000,-

Healer: Let’s leave numbers out of it; can you explain to me in words what it is worth for you as a person, a human being?

Old Mamasan: Twentyfive thousand.

Another thing that seems to be a common denominator with the healing-kind, besides wanting to be paid up front – is that they can’t/won’t guarantee anything, and that the patient/customer lets him/herself  be healed at own risk. There are no refunds! YOU are not open minded enough! Its like taking my money for a blender that wont blend, and when I want to get my money back for the faulty apparatus, they slap you with a pre-signed indemnity form. Those of you who have fallen for con-artists like this – stop being stupid! Go find a homeless person and spend your money on him instead. Treat him to a haircut and a sturdy meal. You will not get any better from whatever illness you are suffering from – but you will feel good for doing this for another human being in real need.

Many healers also claim clairvoyance, and I wonder why do we have to contact them at all? If they are clairvoyant, and have a true calling of healing those in need, why can’t they pick up on cries for help? Maybe they do hear you from your hospital bed. But they can’t start healing you just like that! They have to wait, so they can get your money before they start healing you. I think they call it a sound business sense. Also interesting to see that psychics never hit the lottery. What gives? Why not win the lottery, and spend the winnings on healing people? «Oh no», they say, «you cannot use your clairvoyance for personal gain.»  I’m confused; getting paid for their services is not for personal gain?

The healers I have been in contact with, all claim to “be absolutely for real. Honest!” I can’t argue with that, I do believe that the healers I have spoken with are real people, with blood in their veins, not machines. But can they heal? No way, Jose! These «absolutely for real»-healers are all interested in unveiling and exposing all the frauds in their «occupation». In other words – they have no qualms in throwing their colleagues under the bus. Yanno, get rid of the competition. Thus, quite telling of the grade of FPP (Fantasy Prone Personality) these people are suffering from – in combination with Napoleon complex. They will not get offended by me saying this at all, they do not believe in diagnosis – “diagnose does not exist, everything is energy, and energy is everything

I think it is disrespectful, dishonest, unethical, immoral and very mean to charge money for a completely useless “service”, and when they fail, they add to the burden of their patients/customers by claiming the fault is within the patient/customer. You are not open minded enough! Healers are bad, bad people. They are con artists and do not deserve any respect.

Love and light, baby! Love and light!

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Breakfast in bed


I could hear his muffled snores from upstairs. It knew it would be a nice surprise for him to have coffee and breakfast in bed. I had never done this for him before. As the cat purred and shimmied against my legs I envisioned the reception I would get while gently waking him up with a nice tray of breakfast in bed.

I peeled the perfectly boiled egg, and put it along with some nice shrimp on a toasted and lightly honey buttered rye toast. I added on some fresh mesclun and pomegranate seeds. I quickly put juice, yoghurt and frozen fruits in the blender and wazzed it up. I listened for his continuous muffled snores as I poured the smoothie into a tall, fancy glass. He was still sound asleep. Good.20150718_131425

I decided to do a double shot of espresso in his wake-up latte and headed over to the bright red Nescafe machine in the corner of the glistening black countertop. I steamed the milk, and tried to make a star pattern in the foam as I poured the double shot of espresso. It looked more like a starfish, but it’s the thought that counts, right? A star on the morning coffee, as a symbol of the star of a day I wished him to have. I knew I looked ridiculous actually patting myself on the back, but not even the cat noticed.

The before gently muffled snores grew louder for every step I came closer to his half open bedroom door. Balancing the tray containing his Danish open-faced sandwich (smørrebrød), the fancy glass of smoothie, a single red rose, the morning paper and the latte shining like the star I had drawn in the foam; I gently pushed the door open with my foot and entered the room.

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The blood was pumping in my veins, my face still bright red, I pulled up a chair at my favorite coffee shop and sat down with my latte. I tried to compose myself, but found it hard to let go of my anger. It had been so very uncalled for. In fact, I thought he had been very rude, Snapping at me like that!

Seriously – when I bring you breakfast in bed, a simple “thank you” will suffice. None of this “How the hell did you get into my house”-bullshit! Jeeezz!

(This story is expanded from a status update I have been using for years, but do not know the origin of)

 

The Story Behind a Door

Make Excuses Much?


Dear Right-Now Me,

I have some things to say to me, and I better listen!

Stop bitching and complaining about my writing space. I know it’s not ideal, but give it a rest, already! I have after all written a couple blogposts that I am darn happy with in that lazy boy in the living room, while the Karate Kid is watching telly right next to me. That I can’t get started on my book, has nothing to do with where I write! As of right now, it is what it is, deal with it!

Focus on how I want my writing space to be. Where I am right now, there are a couple possibilities, and just because the first two are not ideal, does not mean that the third option won’t work better.

Stop worrying about getting the dream house. As I know from experience, there are many dream houses and if I don’t get the first one, then something better will come along. Yes, I do wish for a writing space that does not share a function with something else, like in this house. I want an office where I can close the door and be alone with my writing, a space that does not double as a guest room, or a kitchen, or a living-room. It will come; I just need to have patience.

I must think positive; bullshit like «I don’t know how to write a book» and «I can’t concentrate on writing from the lazy boy with the TV on» is not helping. I have already proven to myself that I can write, I can even write well – even when the physical space is not ideal. The blogger from «Silence speaks», who writes from a spiritual perspective, really got me thinking in her post Letter to the atheists Now, she is not succeeding in turning me into a believer of anything supernatural or religious, but she sets forth something positive and hopeful in her text, that I really needed today. Furthermore, she reminded me that I have the power to change my future and my thoughts. I am very thankful for that.

When I do get my very own writing space, or home office, imagine the fun blogposts I can write on DIY and decorating the office. That will be a nice little expansion to my blog. The experiences of writing from not so ideal spaces will be a great guide on how not to furnish and decorate my new space.

Do I really think that my new place will be so inspiring that my book will write itself? *giggles* In a dream-world it will. But realistically speaking; no it won’t. But, it will eliminate one of the things I bitch and complain about, and I will not be able to use that as an excuse as of why I have not started my book.

Because I do make excuses. Much.

Sincerely,

Me

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Recepe: Baked fish au gratin, traditional Norwegian food


There is something about the fall that brings out the Norwegian in me. Food-wise that is. As soon as the warm summer breeze cools into more of a crisp bite, that is when the cravings for traditional Norwegian food appears. Fish is expensive here in Denmark, and I’m not impressed with the quality, but I managed to get some pollock of decent quality for my baked fish au gratin.

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2 tablespoons butter

4 tablespoons flour

4 deciliter milk

400g fish fillets (cod, haddock or pollock)

75 grams macaroni

1 teaspoon salt, pepper and nutmeg (or to taste)

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Make a rich white sauce: Melt the butter, stir in flour and dilute with milk. Cut the fish into chunks and add to the sauce and simmer for 5 minutes. Boil macaroni, drain it and add to the sauce. Season with salt and spices. Remove pan from the heat. Separate the eggs. Stir the egg yolks into the sauce. Whip the egg whites and mix gently into the sauce. Fill it all in a greased casserole dish, and put cheese on the top. Bake on the bottom rack of the oven at 200 degrees Celsius for about 45 minutes, until the gratin is raised and golden brown on top. Serve with potatoes, carrots and melted butter with leeks.

Enjoy!

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Bullied by Healer


My pervious post in The Sundry Sunday Scoff was a translation and partial rewrite of a Norwegian post where call on Healers to heal me from my smoking-habits. My original post was a response to a Norwegian healer and conspiration-theorist, who declared her mortgaged property a solemn state and handed in her passport to the Major, then refused to pay both the mortgage and taxes. Naturally she made headlines in Norway when she was ejected from the property, and the property was repossessed. Stupid much?

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Meme single-handedly stolen off a facebook-group.

Anyways, right after posting my original Norwegian post on my blog, I posted a link on her open facebook-page (where she had originally posted her offer of clairvoyant reading and healing), along with a nicely put question if she could heal me. Less than 30 mins later, I returned to see if there was a response, or interesting or funny new posts. There was a response all right! I was blocked from her open facebook-page. Excluded. Curbed. Rejected. Denied. Revoked. Banned.

After I got over the initial shock of being blocked from such a wonderful person who offers healing for anything that might be wrong with you, and the tears dried out on my cheeks – I started thinking and came up with the following possible explanations of blocking me in my genuine need of healing:

  1. She is a fake, cannot heal. She got scared of the possibility of being exposed as a fraud.
  2. Now that she no longer has a property to pay for, she does not need my rather generous offer.
  3. She does not think that my need for her help is grave enough. She would rather wait ‘til I get cancer.
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    Old Mamasan is being bullied by a Healer!

    She read that I am a sceptic and refuses to heal me. Of course I would have an open mind and hope that the healing would work. If not then it is doomed to fail, which would indeed be counter-productive. I do wish to quit smoking!

  5. This is how she practices her healing. She blocked me so I cannot accuse her of neither cold nor warm reading. I don’t know how these things work! For all I know she might have sent me healing energy for over a month! She is clairvoyant, so she is fully aware that it has not worked this far (lights up a cig)

No matter the reason, I still think it would be courteous of her as a service provider to offer an explanation. To just block someone like that, with no explanation, no communication – feels like bullying. Even the worst form of “girl-bullying”, you know; exclusion and starting rumors. Yup, I’ll go for that one: I feel bullied by a clairvoyant healer!

The offer stands. If you are a healer and believe you can heal me from my smoking addiction then there are NOK 25.000,- up for grabs! Leave a comment and we’ll get in touch!

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It was home


This tweet makes Old Mamasan think. I do agree that «home» is a person, or several persons actually. I know that I am home for The Karate Kid and Sir Nerdalot  – as they are home to me. But it’s more complex than that. They say that a house is just a house, and that is true – until you fill it with your own stuff and your own memories. Then it’s a home. Home can also be a place, a landscape, a town. Or a feeling.

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In 2006 I moved away from Longyearbyen, Svalbard. I still miss it. Not that I don’t feel at home where I live now, but Svalbard does hold a special place in my heart. I think it is a combination of the wonderful people I met up there, and the sometimes harsh and shifty weather, and the magnificent nature. Oh, how I love the mountains! Not to climb them, mount them, own them. But to look at. I loved looking at the mountains, the way the shifting light dressed them. No matter how cold and stormy it was; it was always warm and cozy indoors. Both at my own apartment, at friends apartments, at work, heck, even grocery shopping was cozy up there.

These are troubling times at Svalbard. People are losing their jobs. Families have to move back to the mainland. And then more people might lose their jobs. My heart goes out to them who has to leave Svalbard. I fear the town might be abandoned. I moved voluntarily, and even though I do not regret it – I still miss it sometimes. It was home.

Enjoy this beautiful slideshow, and you will understand my love for the northernmost town in the world:

Photos and slideshow by stuartthomson.no

One Nation under God – really?


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Free for use-pic from Worldpress Blogging University.

Two days ago, I wrote about Kim Davis blatant disregard for the Constitutional rights for other people, and even though I had a good go at her then, I’m not done!

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Map found on google: http://www.learnnc.org

When I look at the picture above, I think about the early colonists and immigrants to what is today USA. They came there, not really knowing what they were running towards – the land was poorly mapped for them. They did know what they were running from. For some it was a chance to better their lives, for others it was to avoid prosecution for their religious beliefs. Of course, those already there, the Native Americans, knew the land already. I will do us all a favor and not go into the wrongful treatment of the Native Americans, a topic that really gets me going. Let’s just not go there (this time).

I have not read American History, nor American Government, since 1990. Turns out that my memory is still intact, despite the fact that I – according to the Karate Kid – am older than dirt, and probably was present when they invented the wheel. I was sitting here thinking about the importance for the founding fathers to write a Constitution that separates church and state. Wasn’t it so? Indeed it was! USA’s third President, Thomas Jefferson, was one of the most important influences on the Constitution. He was adamant that church and state must be separated.

The «Establishment Clause» in the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, prohibits both the Federal and State governments from establishing a national church or excessively involving itself in religion. The «Free Exercise Clause» protects the individual rights of free exercise of religious practices. However, the Supreme Court has consistently held that the right to free exercise is not absolute. Particularly it protects your right to believe whatever you want – but not necessarily the practice – especially the practice that would be harmful to others. (Even if you believe that human sacrifice is the best way to honor your god – you are still not free to kill people.)

The founding fathers, and all others who were mapping a new country, both politically and geographically, would turn in their graves if they knew how much God has been gradually incorporated into politics in the USA. The founding Fathers and Jefferson in particular, were super smart people who did a fantastic job with the Constitution, and in the other ways they mapped and built a Government.  American politicians after WW2 appears to be a lot less smart (50% of everything they say and do is utter bullshit! Oh, that as rude, best disavow that statement right away: 50% of everything they say and do is NOT utter bullshit!)  Politicians collecting votes by professing how religious they are, and replacing the (unofficial) non-religious «E pluribus Unum» with «In God we trust» as official motto of the US in 1956 – are two examples of incorporating religion in government. The gravest example of this is (in my opinion) is the addition of the words «under God» in the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954. Although this God this one Nation is under, is not specified, and can therefore be any God you choose, it still excludes the non-believers. The Atheists. The first amendment must also include those who do not believe in any divine power, protecting their freedom not to believe, so to speak, and it therefore seems strange to me that the Pledge of Allegiance would exclude the non-believers. It is – after all – the same flag; no matter what you believe in or not. If I was a US citizen, I would not be able to pledge my allegiance, because I do not believe in any god.

«I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.»

When Kim Davis in the first video clip on this blogpost answers the question of under whose authority she refuses to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples, with: «Under Gods authority», she shows her ignorance. I suspect that she flunked out of both history and government classes. A gentleman points out to her that it is not her business, and that he actually pay her wages, thus he pays her to discriminate against him. This is absolutely true. Kim Davis’ employers are the inhabitants of Rowan County. They are her boss! She works for them! Not God! Someone should read her employment papers more carefully. Gawd!

Kim Davis is so in the wrong here that it’s not even funny. God has no authority what so ever at her workplace. Also, a major point here, is that the god-figures (yes there are two different gods, it is quite clear when you read both the Old and the New Testament) portrayed in her dear Bible are sexist pigs. She, as a woman, would never be given any authority from god. As it says many places in the Bible; women are not to speak against men, and this passage from 1 Timothy 2:11-15 says it very clear:

«Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.»

In other words, Kim Davis is acting under gods authority – in spite of gods will. If she is upholding one (very small) part of the book, then she must embrace, accept and uphold the whole damn thing! Thus, she is way out of bounds here.

Kim Davis, go home, shut the fuck up, and do as you’re told by your husband!

– Problem solved.

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Old Mamasan thinks Thomas Jefferson was a pretty cool guy!